Tawera Nikau: Rugby League nice discusses lack of spouse Letitia and managing grief on newest Bench podcast | Rugby League Information
Rugby League legend Tawera Nikau is that this week’s visitor on Sky Sports activities‘ The Bench Podcast with Jenna Brooks and Jon Wilkin.
The previous New Zealand worldwide talks about his unimaginable private journey from a small mining city to successful the NRL and enjoying in Tremendous League.
He additionally opens up on some deeply private and tragic occasions to have taken place in his life – together with the demise of his spouse Letitia, who took her personal life in 2001.
Opening up on the tragedy, which occurred when he was going by means of a few of his profession highs, Nikau tells the story of how then Warrington Wolves head coach Darryl van de Velda helped him by means of that point.
“You already know, I used to be on prime of the world. I might received a Premiership with Melbourne in 1999. Captained the New Zealand Maori staff within the World Cup in 2000, after which got here again right here to play for Warrington for a few years,” Nikau mentioned.
“After which very, very difficult time for me, and with the suicide of my spouse, Letitia, throughout that point I used to be at Warrington.
“It was very, very difficult when that occurred. However I used to be very lucky, very fortunate. I had a whole lot of good help from the Warrington staff and the gamers. And specifically, my coach, Darryl van de Velde.
“Darryl was an important man, and I simply actually needed to acknowledge Darrell as a result of he handed away final 12 months up in Brisbane. And I went to his funeral and talked about how he’d helped me, how I might been by means of these powerful instances. And it was actually fascinating as a result of once I got here again after the funeral, I took my spouse residence, did all of the stuff.
“And Darryl rang me and he mentioned ‘oh, hear, T, you simply come again if you’re prepared’. I mentioned ‘Darrell, I will be again subsequent week’. As a result of I nonetheless had, you understand, nonetheless one other a couple of half a 12 months to go on my contract at Warrington.
“My spouse, Letitia, had been my supervisor all these years. And I mentioned ‘nicely, I am going to return and end off the 12 months and play simply to be sure that I end off my contract ‘as a result of she’d executed all these contracts and I used to be going to retire on the finish of that. So once I bought again, Darryl turned up on my doorstep.
“He says to me, ‘T, hear, I’ve organized so that you can go and have some counselling’.
“However I mentioned nah, typical male response.
“So I performed the remainder of the season for concerning the final six months. However I used to be a little bit of a health freak. I educated and I did not drink a lot.
“However once I got here again, I began to drink fairly closely. Primarily spirits. And it was a manner of coping with what had occurred. In order that was my strategy to not be bettering. I would just get plastered, the gin, vodka after the sport.
“That was my manner since you undergo this complete rollercoaster of feelings: anger, guilt, frustration. Why did not I do know? What was I pondering? All these kind of issues.
“And also you have been having to maintain such a stable face on it on your children. That was my manner of coping with it. I might exit consuming, get on benders, would not sleep for 2 or three months. After which after about three or 4 months I might miss a few coaching periods, would not go to restoration.
“Daryll turned up, grabbed me by the collar sooner or later, threw me within the automobile, took me to the counsellor. And even once I bought to the counsellor, I had all these ideas. I mentioned, they do not know who I’m. They do not know what is going on on. They do not know my life-style, the place I have been introduced up, all that kind of stuff. So I nonetheless had all these excuses.
“So I went into there, sat down. I used to be in there for about 45 minutes. And once I left the room, I felt this large weight simply carry off my shoulders.
“There was this enormous sense of reduction as a result of after I might spoken to the counsellor, it wasn’t about who you’re. It wasn’t judgmental.”
When you, or anybody you understand, has been affected by any of the matters mentioned on this episode you could find assist and help at sky.com/viewersupport